- boys/crushes/shitty things like that · - my poetry · 1) EVERYTHING · 2) CREATIVITY · 3) THOUGHTS

i’ll shut up eventually

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i know i spelled “hour” wrong and i know it’s not all consistent with the post but that’s the thing about writing – it never comes out the same way twice, even if you’re copying it, because it’s never perfect

i’m so damn busy and i thought all this would fix it
but now instead of spending all my time in your bed
i waste away the hours in mine
our heartbreak on my mind

every time i see a post that says i’m sorry
i repost it in the hopes that you’ll understand
and every time i see the words of someone broken
a few tears escape of their own accord and i file it away
sending up a silent prayer to no one that you’re okay

that i didn’t “ruin your city” and all these days weren’t wasted
on the grey grey grey
of our lost love

but i want you to regret “i love you”
i want you to go to bed and wake up hating my guts
my perfume a repellant stench, not aphrodisiac

but you still say you love me every day
i wake up in tears to the heartfelt texts
and i see you shudder at the familiarity when i come near

so i say nothing, very loudly
i leave the messages READ 3:01 AM (your name is just a number in my phone)
and i wear the perfume my dad got me
last year, that i used to hate but now i love
because you don’t know how it smells

and when i wear the old one, i think of your bed and i’m sorry

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