it’s 5 a.m. this house is dark except for the flashes of lightning that punctuate the night and the porch light filtering in through the window above the door. alanis morissette is going on about something sad, and i’ve ignored your texts for the fifth night in a row. it gets easier every day, you know.
i haven’t slept. i have to drive 45 minutes into town and then work a six hour shift tomorrow. but i haven’t slept. my head hurts… i should have just stuck to drinking water tonight.
my soul hurts too… but no. no, it’s not pain. it’s numb. it’s nothing. it’s lost. i’m losing perspective, and i tell myself i’m doing better but you can only lie to yourself for so long.
i wonder if i’m going to get any sleep