Is my blog name self-explanatory? I’m not quite sure. Originally, it was “A Teenage (Poet’s) Life,” and the name still fits, theoretically. I complain about my life and share poetry when I write it…lately that hasn’t been very often. I used to write poems almost every day, but now they are quite few and far between. Rhythmic, rhyming, flowing words seem to escape me these days.
I decided I didn’t much like that title… it must have been a few months ago that I changed it to The Emptied Notebooks. Before I considered blogging as an option, and before I really had computer access, I recorded everything – thoughts, poetry, journal entries, stories, feelings – on notebook pages. I was never good at consistent journaling, and though I try awfully hard, I think I never will be. I jump from notebook to notebook, sometimes filling up tons of pages in a night and sometimes going weeks with little more than a haiku or strange doodle. I have a ridiculous amount of notebooks in my room, none more than half full, and another shoebox worth in the attic. None of those are full either. So I just sort of cycle through them, until maybe one day I’ll actually fill one up. I’ve mandated a personal notebook embargo until I manage to use the ones I actually have (which could take years).
I’ve moved to writing digitally most of the time, because then it doesn’t get damaged or lost and it’s quicker. My blog has sort of replaced my notebooks (though a lot of other stuff goes into the notes on my phone or computer – WordPress is only a small percentage of what I actually write down). I’ve always had issues communicating and sharing verbally – I can barely asses my own emotions most of the time, so how am I supposed to make them clear to other people? Writing has been a personal way for me to reflect, pour out emotions, and release pressure, especially when the depression began, and if other people can enjoy it or give me feedback, then I might as well share it. I guess it just helps me feel heard.
I still carry a notebook around with me everywhere because at times it’s rude to pull out your phone, even if it’s just to jot down an idea – in class it’s simply not allowed, and great ideas often hit right in the middle of math (what? there’s nothing else to be doing!) Also, I adore the feeling of pen on paper and the creative process is sometimes more fluid when you can feel the words going onto the page.
So, my blog is my notebooks emptied. My posts are either words resurrected from old notebook entries or new stuff that I record online instead of on paper.
I haven’t done a great job of explaining, but I think you get the concept. Notebooks are honestly so important to me and my little space on the web is just an extension of that. So I hope you enjoy my words and my site.