- my poetry · 1) EVERYTHING · 3) THOUGHTS

is there something we could have done?

A week now, he hasn’t been at school
We’ve wondered
Where is our friend? Where is the tall boy with the silky hair?
Where is his sarcasm and wit, his quick smile, his immaculate clothes?
We miss him

Why did his sister pick up his yearbook? I never thought to ask her where he was
Why won’t he answer our texts? Maybe his phone is broken.
Why does no one know where he went? Maybe we don’t know his other friends.
We just know we miss him.

We thought he was sick, grounded for skipping with us last week, taking a few days off, on vacation….

Anywhere but lying in the hospital because he felt so hopeless that the only way out was to take his own life.
Anywhere but in a place so dark that all our laughter and smiles and jokes never reached him
Anywhere but so far inside his own mind that we couldn’t even see he was hurting.

I wish we could fix him. I wish we could fix everyone in the world who is so low that they can’t see even a pinprick of light.
It’s not their fault, and going through hell for that one right medicine that takes weeks to work just makes it that much harder.
We haven’t talked to him. We don’t really know what was wrong. Maybe we’ll never really understand.

But oh, I’m so glad he’s alive. We miss our Java Boy

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