- my poetry · 1) EVERYTHING

Writing 201: Water

His whole soul reflects

In those Adriatic eyes

Churning like the sea

© Victoria Morrison 2015

(This is a part of the Blogging U. course Writing 201: Poetry)
Water/Haiku/Simile

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8 thoughts on “Writing 201: Water

  1. Great start! Since you’ve got such limited space in haiku, perhaps you could eliminate one of instance of “his” (perhaps the first), freeing up the space for another word or change of tense somewhere?

    1. You’re right – having “his” twice doesn’t sound great. I don’t know why I didn’t notice that, thanks for pointing it out 🙂

      1. Right on. This is why we share. And it isn’t so much that it doesn’t sound great – it’s that in this particular form every word is worth its weight in poetic gold. 🙂 Keep it up.

    1. Yes! If you signed up beforehand you can go to The Commons and comment and share your work – if not, then just follow the prompts and maybe link back to The Daily Post. All that make sense?

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