I’m always getting over a guy by looking at the next one, because your presence in the room doesn’t matter when I’m waiting for him to walk in and I don’t even notice that your name doesn’t show up on the screen anymore when his has taken its place.
It’s a wonderful remedy, but it is inevitably destructive, because before I know it I’ve gotten attached and then I obviously have to let that break and set my sights somewhere else to forget you and it’s a fucking vicious cycle and I always think this is it, he’s the last one, but I’m wrong – so wrong.
So when I tell myself how much he matters I have to take myself with a grain of salt because the one who talks the most shit is me. I’m constantly lying to myself – maybe the reason I cant be straightforward with anyone else is because I won’t even tell myself the answers
so there’s no way in hell you’re gonna be getting them anytime soon.
*”old” meaning about a month ago