1) EVERYTHING · 3) THOUGHTS

Life, man

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

When was the last time that sentence accurately described your life?

Right now, Daily Post. Right now.

First of all, since everyone was so encouraging yesterday I thought I should share this :3 I PASSED! thank you all so much ❤ My heart was ready to beat out of my chest when the examiners were discussing my score

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I’m ecstatic about my license, but this weird feeling of pressure and anxiety that’s been hanging over me lately hasn’t subsided at all. I had attributed the majority of it to the whole failing fiasco, so now that I’ve passed (with a 96% :D) and gotten the license, and the feeling is still there, I’m not really sure what to do.

I’m so so excited about the freedom that I have now, but this place I’m in mentally and emotionally is honestly nothing I’ve ever dealt with before. I’m going to make it through this week and see how I’m feeling at the end of the weekend…

I’m terribly sorry about all the posts lately about how I’m feeling and stuff – I’ve been able to come up with virtually no poetry at all, and it’s very frustrating. Nothing sounds good… I’m going to make an effort to write, though; even if it sucks, I need to get some poems scratched down or I’m going to go even more insane than I already feel.

Anyway, I think the way things have been progressing in my mind and life fit this prompt to a tee – what with my license and him and all, I really should be happy now, but I’m hovering between apathy and depression and dislike of myself and everyone around me.

Thanks, if you read this. The lame, boring, feelings posts will hopefully cease soon.

~ATP

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4 thoughts on “Life, man

  1. Congratulations!

    There’s nothing boring about thoughts and feelings. I don’t mind reading them – it makes the person behind the blog posts that much more real.

    Writing is cathartic. Just write, don’t force direction. Also, don’t criticize your work while your write. A lot of us hate what we write too. That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be written. (Take the post private if you don’t want people to see, or write in one of your zillion notebooks.) But just write, because that seems to help you with your moods.

    Those glasses make you look years older…

    1. Thank you!

      And it never occurred to me to make the posts private! Riccardo, you always come to my rescue. Writing in just the notebook(s) isn’t always enough – hence the blog- but if some posts I could write and then keep to myself, i think that could help when I needed it. And I like that you say “Just write” – my gorgeous new notebook says “Just Keep Writing” on the front and it’s such a good ”motto” to keep in mind. I’ve really been trying to lately.

      And yes, I often wear my glasses when I want to appear older/more mature… Today it was simply because I was too tired for contacts.

      Thank you so much for your comment, and sorry if any of mine is incorrect grammatically or just plain doesn’t make sense – I’m typing this on my phone because I know I’ll forget to check my comments again tomorrow.

  2. Told you so about the third time being the charm, Victoria! Can you please take a minute and enjoy the sensation of getting your driver’s license? Please?

    The other stuff will shake itself out. It’s normal at this point of your life. Lots of big stuff going on, Victoria. Life is pretty cool though, poems will be coming in no time.

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