1) EVERYTHING · 3) THOUGHTS

Congratu-freaking-lations Victoria

Christ. I’ve gone and failed my driving test for the second time in a row; I had a meltdown in the car after the examiner left. I’m so unbelievably frustrated – I am not a bad driver. A lot of my driving is better than that of my useless friends. But the thing is, I never did driver’s ed, and even though I watched a bunch of videos beforehand, remembering all the little technicalities is really difficult. The DPS frankly doesn’t give a shit about my awesome highway skills and night driving abilities – they just want to know if I can meet their set of criteria perfectly. And I messed up like one thing each time.

Which I suppose is good. I’m glad they make sure everyone does everything correctly.But the fact that numerous idiots at my school are capable of passing this and I managed to fail (TWICE) is killing me. I refused to go back to school afterwards. I’m trying again tomorrow, and if I manage to bomb this shit for a third time I’m honestly just going to cry for the rest of the week and enroll myself in an online school.

Can’t they just mash the two tests I took together and superscore them like colleges do on the ACT? Take all the best parts from each and let me pass? ‘Cause I didn’t make the same mistakes the second time.

Maybe that’s my problem. Comparing the driving test to the ACT… I honestly feel like I’m unequipped to handle parts of life that aren’t school-related. And it’s not that I like school or anything – I detest it at the moment. But that’s where I concentrate so much of my emotions and energy and effort, in my schoolwork and tests and such, and I’m beginning to realise it’s a bit detrimental.

I’m not saying that’s why I failed. It was just a tangent my brain followed when I tried to relate the driving test back to the way I handle school and realised that was a stupid thing to do.

Whatever. I’m extremely mopey and upset and tired.My best friend brought me coffee and I had lunch at a nice place with my mom and we went shopping and I got some clothes (I hate trying stuff on though). Also I convinced her to buy the first eggnog of the season. And I didn’t have to go to school.

Actually a pretty great day, right? At any other time I would say absolutely, Victoria, what the hell are you whining about? But I’m not used to failing things, especially twice in a row, and I cannot shake the feeling that I’m going to mess it up tomorrow again. It’s all just really really bothering me. I JUST WANT MY LICENSE OKAY.

Well, I’m off to get my friend’s help on some incomprehensible mathematical crap. Have a nice day/night/afternoon/evening/life, everyone.

~ATP

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7 thoughts on “Congratu-freaking-lations Victoria

  1. Awh I know how much this means to you and okay I admit, it’s kind of hard giving advice here considering how (well, in this country anyway) I’ve got years to go until I could ever learn to drive, but breathe in and out and GOOD LUCK!

  2. I’ll make you feel better, Victoria. I failed twice way back in 19ohcrap, and passed easily on try No 3. I was too nervous the first two times because my mother’s car had a sticky gear shift. I took my father’s car the third time, no nerves, and that was that. Just go and do it. Confidence is the key.

  3. I think that you are thinking a little too much about it. Try to relax and just drive. Driving should be an stress free thing to do. I never drove a car until the morning I turned fifteen and a half and my dad made me drive to the DMV to take the test. All he said was to relax and not to think about the dude grading me, just drive. Better luck tomorrow morning!

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