- boys/crushes/shitty things like that · 1) EVERYTHING · 3) THOUGHTS

Honestly

People constantly complain that they don’t know why girls don’t like nice guys. They act as if they cannot comprehend it, cannot understand how any young lady could possibly want someone who isn’t sensitive and open and there for them and always has a kind word. (And yes, these guys definitely exist – I’ve dated them).

It’s SO SIMPLE though. Really ‘nice guys’ are too easy to hurt. You can see their faces crumble as you tell them it’s over, notice the dejected expressions when you pass by them in the hallway later. But they’ll never tell you. And it’s painful. I’m sure guys who are jerks have emotions as well, but you don’t have to witness them. Is that selfish? Very. Am I justifying being an asshole? No. But I think that’s most of the answer to the question. I don’t go out with nice guys, because I am bad at dating for extended periods of time, and honestly I would much rather get hurt than hurt  someone.

However, I am 17. I’m sure all this is different as you get older. I really don’t know. But high school seems a very good place to observe these things.

And don’t take this too seriously. I know that not all guys are either total jerks or super sweet. I don’t want my boyfriend to be an absolute asshole. I like when boys are sweet. But when they’re really really sweet and nice…it’s difficult.

I needed to get that out. Carry on with your day

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5 thoughts on “Honestly

  1. I guess as the male voice here, I should point out that the Messiah Complex works both ways. Men can also be attracted to “bad girls” because 1) it’s exciting to be with a woman that you don’t have to convince to do “unladylike” things, or 2) men think these girls are damsels-in-distress that they need to save and turn into the Princess Peaches of the world. As with good girls thinking they can tame (domesticate?) bad boys, this usually doesn’t end well.

    I’ll challenge Victoria’s assertion that “nice guys are too easy to hurt”. You’re dealing with teenage boys that are likely to have EQs lower than yours. You’re right, this all will change as you get older. Girls mature faster than boys; we only catch up in our 20s. Enjoy your teenage high school years, you’ll start being saddled with more responsibility soon enough.

    Last question though – how can anyone be bad at dating, of all things? 🙂

    1. Alright, you have a good point with the girls, I sort of forgot that it goes both ways.

      As for being bad at dating…I guess I’ve realised I can be a pretty selfish person. Honestly I just shouldn’t date at the moment ’cause it’s a bit pointless in high school, but since I insist upon doing so I should probably go about it a bit differently. I tend to not share any emotions whatsoever or not tell whomever it is how I’m feeling about whatever relationship it is, then break it off when it’s too much for me instead of having a conversation or something. Also I’m not an assertive or social person and I’m terrible at making decisions so oftentimes they have to do a lot of the work.
      So yeah, that’s how you be bad at dating, I suppose. I know I do these things and I try not to but it’s difficult.

  2. Everything you say here makes sense to me…was true when I was a teenager as well. I also think there is a tendency that many women have that makes us think they can change a man…and that bad boy will somehow become a good boy with our influence. This can happen for short periods of time but in the end–people are themselves. They don’t change until they want to and no amount of wishing on our part will make this come true. Judy

    1. That’s a very good point. No matter how many times you’re told, a tiny piece of you will think you can change him, and I think it works out in our minds that if they change for us then they really care about us. But we’re supposed to love them for who they are in the first place. Thanks for the comment 🙂

  3. I don’t like admitting, but you have a point. It’s really in the human subconcious I think. Especially girls tend to take it for granted. But personally, I’m fine if someone’s natural character is not being able to show emotion or pain, but someone who deliberately tries to hide it, to seem tough and not so sweet, that’s sickens me.
    So I’d rather have the other way around. 🙂

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