- boys/crushes/shitty things like that · 1) EVERYTHING

by the way, dude

Whatever. I told him how I felt. Well, sort of.

He didn’t reciprocate it, but I wasn’t even disappointed – I didn’t let myself hope at all since I was already pretty aware of his general feelings towards me.

Although I wish he felt the same way, I’m not surprised and I’m not going to let it affect me. It really helped to tell him because now when we’re having an argument and he’s pushing me to answer I no longer have to hold back my constant “BECAUSE I LIKE YOU SO MUCH OKAY?!”  Not that I’m going to shout that at him, but I’m glad he knows now.

I also think not internalising it will help me get over him… That’s all I’ve really been trying to do, honestly, because I know, despite his slight affinity for me, he’ll never want what I do. That being said, I’m not telling anyone else. Especially ’cause my best friend has been talking to him lately and my unreasonably jealous personality just wants to go crazy about it. She doesn’t need to know…I never confide in my friends about matters of the heart. (Sorry lamest line ever actually written).

So, you guys get to know because my friends don’t. Hurrah!

~A Liberated Teenage Poet

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8 thoughts on “by the way, dude

    1. Thanks Vic. I didn’t get my hopes up so I’m not too bummed. And you’re right, there are many many other people haha

    1. Haha I apologise.
      We were basically just arguing via text and he was saying crap about me being too nervous around him (which is a conversation we have a lot) and I got sick of it and said “This is stupid.I like you” so he would at least know why and yeah. He was like “what why?” but I didn’t really explain.
      And I mean, he likes me in a way, but it’s not the crush/date me/I-just-wanna-cuddle-and-then-watch-you-play-video-games-even-though-I-hate-them kind of way that I like him (No, I didn’t say that to him lol.) I have actual feelings, he really doesn’t. But I was pretty sure I knew that already so it’s not a big deal.

      1. Absolutely no apologies needed, and thanks for sharing! That’s interesting, that you can have these conversations via text. It might have been informative to see the reaction on his face to what you said…

        At least this might help you with the getting over it part of the program. 🙂

        1. You’re right, I would’ve liked to see his face. But like I said (and the reason our argument occurred) I find it difficult to talk to him face to face sometimes just ’cause that’s not my strong point. I get nervous, I say the wrong things. So we text a lot. We are starting to actually talk more now so that’s good I suppose. I don’t I would’ve had the guts to say it in person though haha

  1. I know what you mean! “I never confide in my friends about matters of the heart” Haha there always seems to be the possibility of judgment so I usually just stay quiet.

    1. I’m glad it’s not just me haha. And exactly, I hate hearing what they have to say about it, and I despise being teased over it. Also, there’s always the possibility they’ll tell someone so that’s stressful… “Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead” lol. My best friend is super talkative so it’s not worth the risk.

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