I must admit; I am very influenced by other people. It’s not that I care what they think, but I am quite a malleable person – if someone tells me about a good song, website, artist, game, show, etc. I often go check it out and end up incorporating it into my daily life.
Now, that sounds like a pretty normal thing to do – many of us exchange ideas with our friends. But I feel like I go to extremes; almost everything I listen to or watch reminds me of someone, because I usually didn’t come up with it myself. I am very willing to be moulded. All together it results in something quite unique – I’m quite far from being mainstream. But sometimes it just….bothers me.
And I recently discovered that a lot of the things I do, I did so I could have something in common with a certain someone…often someone I was/is attracted to. I played Pokemon a ton over the summer, and I told myself it was fun, yet before may I thought it was the stupidest thing on earth. “My tastes have just changed,” I told myself. But no – I think I did it because of the guy I was dating at the time. He’s a total nerd, and loves Pokemon, and I subconsciously integrated this thing into my life that, after we broke up, I realised I don’t even like.
Yet I was playing it again today in Latin because our teacher is gone, and as I look at the DS in my backpack now I realise that I was doing it again, without even thinking – said guy and I have started talking again. Out came the game. I didn’t even notice the two things were connected until now.
And the song I’m listening to now…it’s an artist that a guy I met and really clicked with in South Africa recommended to me. Now, I actually ended up really liking Sick Puppies, but it irritates me that I’m so damn malleable.
Really needed to get that off my chest. If you read to here I admire and thank you, and also am a bit worried about you.
~A Girl Who Likes to Think She’s Different