Today, I took some random personality quiz, for fun. Then I read my result…and all of the others as well. Lo and behold, a piece of each of them applied me in part, and none of them were on point – they often contained some quality that was radically different from how I knew I was. Isn’t that how these things always are? So I decided to compile my own list of characteristics.
I grabbed a blue marker, a nearby piece of graph paper, and began scribbling (in my atrocious cursive) what I saw in myself. The thing is, it came out more as all the things I knew were wrong with me, with my personality. I was a bit disappointed at first, but as I read down the list, I realised many of them were selfish things I could change, or diminish, and that I probably frustrated people with needlessly. Many say you need to love yourself, but I think the first step towards doing that is knowing who you are. It was refreshing to watch these things appear on paper and accept them as part of who I was in that moment, to remember all the times I had felt so disgustingly self-righteous, and know that I’m capable of being ten times the person I am. I don’t know what I am trying to tell you here, but I must say that if you are ever feeling too pleased with yourself, sit down and make the list. It’s a bit sobering.
Now, I can make excuses for all these things, argue that I’m not really like that…but since I’ve recognised these qualities in myself, I quite obviously am.
I’m going to leave the list right here for you to look at if you so desire.
- I indirectly seek attention too much sometimes
- I always want to be liked by strangers, even though I say I don’t care what people think of me
- I am horribly indecisive
- I can be too sarcastic…with the intention of hurting others sometimes
- I complain an awful lot
- I am apparently quite passive aggressive
- I am not always as loyal to my friends as I should be
- I procrastinate to a degree of ridiculousness
- I don’t always get done what I say I will
- I am good at giving up on things
- I see the bad in people before I see the good
- I indirectly brag often
- I get unreasonably jealous
- I go from happy to irritated to a degree of almost bipolar-ness, which is unfair to anyone in my presence
- I am very quiet, yet sometimes I think before I speak and spend the rest of the day berating myself for it
Anddd a million other things I’ll probably add later. But I think you get my point
~The Girl Who Likes to Think She’s Different